Plea For Porn

Just put Rome Girl on the train. She’ll be back in May.

So, please, if you have any hot pictures to send me some so I can, um, pass the time…

I know you are all beautiful things.

Email address is bcalendar@aim.com.

Thanks!

Pussy Or Food?

Today was the 250th birthday of Arthur Guinness.

Because of this every ex pat bar in town had a major party.

This, as it always does, led to the elder half of Woody Allen Film Reference and I getting into a drunken discussion with other people.

Here’s what we are talking about tonight. This started out with the observation – and this is important – that you can easily live for a week without eating food.

So, here’s what we debated if you had the choice between?

1. Spending one week being able to give oral sex to the most attractive member of your gender preference possible whenever or wherever you wanted to.

or

2. Spending one week being able to eat whatever you wanted in you favorite restaurant or restaurants possible whenever or wherever you wanted to.

What would you choose? This assumes that if you choose to eat all the pussy that you wanted for that week you’d never ever get the chance to eat in those great restaurants again. It also assumes that if you picked the restaurants you’d be giving up your chance to ever go down on your ideal partner ever again.

Where would you dine? The Y or The Ritz?

Do Black Men Eat Pussy?

Damn, Miss Information hit the nail on the head this week in her quest to find the worst relationship advice on the planet.

This one comes from “The Romantic” who tells a woman that black men make fun of white men because white men are willing to eat pussy and black men are not.

Seriously. Here’s the quote:

“Growing up, it was pretty common knowledge (or at least stereotype) that ‘black men don’t go down.’ In fact, several of my black friends would really make fun of the whole concept of white men doing that.”

WTF?

I think “racist” is too weak a word for this. “Stupid motherfucker” doesn’t quite do it. “Fucking dickhead douchenozzle” kinda gets close.

I’m shocked The Romantic didn’t go on to say “Black men don’t need to eat pussy because they have big dicks while white boys have to eat the muff ruff to make up for their teeny honky cocks.”

Thank fuck Erin took this fucking dickhead douchenozzle ass eating motherfucker to task.

Just Pull Out

So, it turns out that the withdrawal method is pretty much just as effective at preventing pregnancy as condoms.

“The best available estimates indicate that with “perfect use,” 4% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 2% of couples relying on the male condom. More realistic estimates suggest that with “typical use,” 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 17% of those using the male condom.”

Snatch

Every year this time of year I end up seeing more pussy than I expect.

Not, because I suddenly get lucky. But, because it gets warmer and lots of girls wear short skirts. And, it seems like every year more and more of them aren’t wearing underwear.

At least once a week in this weather I’ll be sitting at a cafe reading a newspaper or a book look around for a minute and see some girl sitting in such a way that it’s almost impossible not to see up her skirt and look at everything she was born with.

Now, my question is, do you think these girls are doing this on purpose as some kind of secret exhibitionist thing. Or do they just forget they are not wearing panties and/or not realize quite how they are sitting?

Deep Thoughts

Whenever I’m out I love thinking that half the people around me have pussies.

Even though I won’t get to see touch or smell 99.999 percent of them, just knowing I’m surrounded by pussy when I’m out in the world is a nice thing.

Writer’s Block: How Soon Is Now?

Winged, flying house cats.

Bush Whacked

The State of New Jersey is thinking about making Brazillian bikini waxes illegal.

In other words, they’ve taken bush out of the White House and put it back on our women where it belongs.

I guess this means New Yorkers will have direct evidence when they’ve picked up a member of the Bridge and Tunnel crowd at a club.

Can you imagine the talk at the bar:

“Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?”

“Sure stud!”

“So, where you from?”

“New Jersey?”

“Sorry baby I don’t dip my tree in the forest.”

On the other hand, maybe it will create a weird black market where Jersey girls take NY Transit into the city to get their forbidden detailing.

Or, perhaps the mafia will now take over the Brazilian waxing industry in New Jersey. You could have turf wars where rival families fight to run back room waxing salons (wax easies?)

Beyond that, imagine the cops trying to run sting operations – bursting in to raid beauty parlors and ordering all the women involved to take off their pants and prove they have pubes.

I’m already writing a treatment to send to Dick Wolf:

Law & Order: Bikini Investigations.

Can’t You Smell That Smell?

I forgot to wash my face before I went to bed last night and it still smells like Rome Girl.

It’s awesome. I forget about it for a while and then every so often it’s like “Oh! Pussy!”

I can only imagine what the people at the train station thought this morning when I was with her – in bed head with the scent of tasty tang coming off my cheeks.

This made me realize why she showered first thing this morning – which is something she rarely does before a long train trip.

It’s almost going to be a shame to wash up before I go to the bar tonight.

Licking The Slit Fantastic

I’m amused by the site Girls Hunting Girls if nothing else because their slogans and tag lines are awesome.

“The Site That Proves All Girls Are Lesbians.”

“Our Mission.. To Pick Up Talent Off The Street And Turn Them Into Carpet Munchers.”

“Girls Can Lick Better Than Boys!”